Shirts
by Sarigo
Summary: SasuSaku; Sakura really needs money, and her only way to get it is through a comedy themed tee-shirt making contest. However, when she picks Sasuke to be her judge as to how clever her ideas are, things become more than complicated. Cover Art by Savy-Chan!
1. Chapter 1: Wardrobe Malfunction

_**A/N: **_**I've been trying to write all night. I've worked on three other stories and just can't decide which I'd rather work on. Here goes.**

_**Reviews Appreciated**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**Shirts. Chapter 1.**

Lunar's Cafe was a local coffee shop in town. To the theme of purple, this cafe was just hipster enough to not scare the hipsters away.

Not only that, it was the popular meet-up destination for dreamer, Sakura Haruno, and her advisor, Sasuke Uchiha.

He hadn't really offered to be her advisor for this, he was really just sort of forced into it. And now here he was, sitting at a dark purple booth, watching her pull a T-shirt out of a box. This was the fifth time this week. It was Tuesday.

"Okay, so I know I've pulled you in here a lot, but I'm sure this one's going to be the best."

"I don't mind, as long as you're the one paying for whatever we end up eating here."

Sakura sat down across from him, holding the folded up white shirt in her right hand.

"I'll thank you for helping me later, Sasuke. But right now, I need your help."

"What is this even for?"

She sighed.

"I've already said this, but I guess I can say it again. I'm entering a T-shirt making contest - best one gets made into a shirt, and the creator gets a job as a fashion designer. Not a very high-up-there fashion designer, but just enough to get my name out there. And that's my dream. So, are you ready to see this shirt?"

Sasuke shook his head.

"No, I'm not, to be honest. Another lame line on another white shirt."

"That's all we're allowed to do."

She stood up, and unfolded the shirt.

"Ta-da!" she yelled.

Sasuke read it.

"'I make nice babies.'"

"Isn't it great?"

He looked back at her, and narrowed his eyes to see if she was messing with him. She wasn't, so he looked back at the shirt.

"When you make these, do you actually think anyone would wear them?"

"I'd wear this," she said defensively, holding the shirt against herself. "I mean, I think it's hilarious. And a great ice breaker, too. Boys and girls could wear it. And you could wear it on dates, to make sure your boyfriend didn't try anything on you because the whole time, he'd be thinking about babies. And boys don't have sex for babies."

"They do when they're married."

"And then they divorce after a few years. Clearly, they don't want babies."

This was going nowhere.

"Sakura," he muttered. "Unless you can come up with something actually _funny,_ you're not going to win."

She started to say something back, but then slouched back into the chair.

"Oh, who am I kidding...it's worthless."

She watched people leave and enter the cafe.

"I don't get it! I'm so funny in school. Everyone loves me, as far as I know. So why can't I just put something funny on a shirt?"

Sasuke decided to humor her.

"Well, you are asking _me _to judge if a shirt's actually funny or not. I don't ever laugh at anything."

"That's the point! _You never laugh!_ If I can make_ you_ laugh, I can make anyone laugh!" she yelled, placing her head in her hands.

Sasuke groaned.

"Sasuke? Can you at least give me a piece of helpful advice on this?"

"You want me to write your shirt for you?"

"N-no! I just- I just wanted a pointer on this, is all. What do people think is truly funny?"

"I'd tell you," he replied, standing up. "But then, you'd find a way to make it not funny. You want humor? Originality is humor."

He took the last sip of his smoothie and left, without another word. She sighed, and put the shirt back in the box.

"And I really thought I had him this time..."

She looked around, and then got an idea.

"I'll show him."

It should be said by now, so here it is: Sakura worked at Lunar's Cafe. She all but lived there, actually. She was just trying to make a living, but it was hard around this town. Konoha was a growing place. She knew that if she didn't get out soon, she'd never make it out alive. She tried stand up comedy before, but gave up on it after her immense fear of stage fright attacked her in the middle of a joke.

Of course, she escaped that one by making it seem like her panic-attack was a part of the joke. It was strange, but people laughed.

She'd always made her own shirts, and one day recently she was approached by a man while she was working. Her shirt read "I'm Wearing Deodorant Today". He got a kick out of it, and asked her if she'd heard of the contest.

Everyone always loved her ideas. Everyone but Sasuke.

But she had an idea.

"Ready, Sasuke?"

"No."

"Ta-da!"

She showed him today's shirts.

"This one says 'Breasts' on it. Is that all it's supposed to say?"

She dropped her draw.

"Y-yes?"

"Make it longer. Give it reason. A random shirt that says 'Breasts'-"

"Isn't going to get me anywhere," she answered, sighing. "You want it longer?"

"Yes."

"Sakura, this one says "I like breasts. Are you trying to tell me something?"

"NO! It's for boys, stupid!"

"And this one says, 'I like 'em long.' Except, long has twelve o's in it."

"For girls?"

"Rather promiscuous, if I may say so myself."

"'There are words on my boobs'. Really? Why do so many of your shirts have something to do with boobs?"

"They're funny!"

"Since when? If anyone wore this, it would honestly make breasts _less _attractive. And there's a lack of nice boobs out there. I'd hate to see someone with nice boobs wearing this."

She looked off into space, like she was deep in thought.

"What are you thinking?" he asked.

"What makes a boob nice? Other than size?"

"...wow. For a smart person, you're pretty damn stupid."

She slammed her head on the table.

"Well?" he asked. "Aren't you going to show me a shirt?"

"Mmmmmfffff."

"Why'd you invite me here if you're not going to show me anything?"

She sighed.

"I have a list of quotes I was planning on putting on shirts. Between paying for your meals here, and buying white T-shirts, I'm broke. So, I just want you to tell me if any of those are good."

He nodded, and scanned through them. Then, he sat the paper down.

"Well?" she asked.

He shook his head.

"How much longer is this contest?" he asked.

"Ten days."

He combed his fingers through his hair and pulled out his wallet. He handed her a twenty dollar bill.

"Keep the change."

"You're paying?"

"The deal was, you show me a shirt, and I pay. There was no shirt today."

He left again. She checked for a receipt, and didn't find anything.

"Wait a minute," she said to herself. "He didn't even buy anything..."

She looked at the paper to see any marks he could have left.

There were none.

"Sasuke," she groaned once more. "You jerk."

She crumpled the paper up and headed off to do the last load of dishes for the night.

**End-of-Chapter Notes: I've actually thought about making T-shirts before. Most of the designs said were designs I had in mind. Of course, I got out of that quickly. Becuase a shirt that says "There are words on my boobs" is probably not going to go over to well in America, land of the cencored.**

**Next chapter will probably look more into her social life, and back into the T-shirts. It will be more around 2,000 words.**

**Until next time!**


	2. Chapter 2: Social Malfunction

**A/N: So I was thinking about it, and I realized - I'm going to have to come up with an idea for a T-Shirt that's funny enough to make _Sasuke _laugh. This is going to take a while, at least the finale will...unless I can think of a different ending.**

_**Reviews Appreciated**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

"I'm honestly afraid to look."

"Why?"

"Your face is so full of anticipation, it's almost frightening. I'm worried."

"Come on, Sasuke, please! I only have nine more days before everything has to be turned in!"

Sasuke sighed and unfolded the shirt.

"'I'm not short, I'm just'...oh God. Not another one of_ those_ shirts."

"What's wrong with it? I see people wearing short-joke shirts all the time!"

"They're so _incredibly _not funny. And incredibly unoriginal. I thought we agreed on originality?"

Back at Lunar's Coffee Shop, again.

"I'm sorry. I thought I was original, but this whole shirt-making thing has seriously made me doubt it."

She pouted.

"What can I do, Sasuke? I don't even know where to start."

"I'll tell you where to start, if you want."

She looked up at him, with a hint of keen interest. He smiled.

"You seem incredibly antisocial, in that your only friend is me. And we've known each other since Junior High. So, get to know someone. Talk to them. Eventually in a conversation with them, you'll say something funny, I'm sure."

"But I only have nine days - can I really make a friend in that short amount of time?"

"Of course. You work in a freaking restaraunt. But you'd better start fast."

He smiled at her, which caused her to turn red. His smile was rare, and when it did happen, it usually meant that he was thinking about the pain of someone else. She hoped it was a smile from happiness. He then turned, and left her behind the smoothie bar.

"I'm not antisocial. You'll see."

.

.

Customer one - Kiba Inuzuka. He was a notorious dog lover, and studying under his sister to become a veternarian. Seeing him anywhere but there was rare. She smiled.

"Hey! Welcome to Lunar's Cafe! Aren't you...Kiba Inuzuka?"

She only pretended to not know who he was.

He looked at her, and squinted. Then he knew who she was, and sat at the bar.

"Well if it isn't Sakura Haruno! How's it been?"

"I didn't know you knew my name!" she laughed. "I've been fine. I just entered a comedic T-shirt making contest, and I've been trying to think of ideas. That way, I might be able to get the hell out of this place. But, I have yet to get anything. And you?"

"Same old, same old. Ever since high school ended, I've been stuck studying under my sister. Pretty lame, if you ask me."

"Sounds hard. Oh, before I forget, what'll you have to order?"

"Hm...I suppose I'll take a vanilla milkshake and some fries. I really just came here 'cuz I've never been here before."

She was waiting to get an idea, but wasn't getting anything.

"Can I get some fries to go with that shake?" he asked, after Sakura only brought the milkshake.

She nodded.

"They're waiting."

_Wait a minute._

"Hey, Kiba. Can you repeat that?"

"What? Can I get some fries to go with that shake? What of it?"

Ah, the basic 'Fries with the shake' joke. Surely she could find a way to twist it around her finger?

She laughed.

He laughed too, but didn't seem to get it.

"Thanks, Kiba," she said, handing him his fries as well.

"Um. Yeah. Can I get this to go?"

Not understanding that he was leaving because of her, she gladly handed him a bag.

"Sure! We have a drive-thru as well, so if you like what you got, come back any time!"

He ate a fry.

"Do you usually work the window?"

"No, I'm usually either cleaning or doing this."

"Then, that sounds fine."

He walked out.

"Bye, see you later!" she yelled.

_Fries and shake. Fries and shake._

.

.

"No, Sakura, you can't just stop at one!"

She was talking to her reflection in the bathroom.

"I'm sure Sasuke wouldn't like it if I only did it once. I need more people. But, fun people. Hopefully I'll get someone better than Kiba."

A toilet flushed. Sakura moved out of the way for a woman.

"Aren't you going to wash your hands?" she asked the lady. She shook her head, looking at Sakura like she was completely repulsive, and left.

_I wonder why she..._

Then she realized how misconstrued her words probably were.

"Oh. She thought I was talking about sex. Hm."

She then leaned against the sink and pulled a small notepad and pen out of her coat.

"Yes, I do have fries with this shake."

No.

"No, my shake does not come from fries."

No.

"My shake does not come with fries. I ain't that crazy."

She stopped. Maybe the second one was better. Though it didn't really seem like T-shirt material.

.

.

"Hey, welcome to Lunar's!"

A blonde boy with spikey hair entered the cafe. Naruto Uzumaki. She knew him, too.

She had been thinking about different ideas for T-shirts, when she came across a great idea: Pick-up line tees.

"Hey, Naruto!"

He turned and looked at her. He then blushed. Sakura remembered that he had a huge crush on her in High School. She always rejected him, though. She suddenly felt bad.

"S-Sakura! Hey! Crazy seeing you here!"

"Yeah, yeah, listen - I need your help."

He was confused, but he listened anyways.

"I need help coming up with pick-up lines. It's for a T-shirt contest. I've only thought up a few, though."

"What have you got?"

She pulled out her notepad.

"Does this shirt smell like chloroform?"

He laughed, and sat down. He motioned for her to continue. She grinned.

"If God is love, I God you."

He wrinkled his nose, as if to say "What?". She shook her head with the grin still plastered on her face.

"That's actually all I have."

She frowned. He laughed.

"I thought they were both good, and slightly original. I love the spin off on "does this rag smell like chloroform?". I dunno, Sakura, you might not need my help."

"But I do!"

He stared at her.

"I'm not too good at pickup lines."

"Then just talk to me. I need help coming up with anything funny."

He smiled at her.

"So," he started. "Do you think male prostitutes have female pimps?"

Sakura stared at him, and shook her head.

"I have no idea where you pulled that one from, but no. Male prostitutes would probably not have pimps. I don't think women _can _be pimps."

"Sure they can - except when a woman's a pimp, it's called a slut."

"No it isn't - pimps don't sleep with their hoes. You've mistaken the word 'Pimp' for 'Player'. Although, that is a good concept."

He shrugged, and asked for a smoothie. She got him one.

After slurping for what seemed like forever, he looked back at her.

"That question was pretty random, wasn't it?"

The two laughed for a while, and then it died down. Naruto looked at her.

"You still going after Sasuke?"

She blinked.

"What?"

"Back in High School. Whenever I'd ask you out, you always replied with 'I have my eyes on someone else', and you'd look over in Sasuke's direction."

"I did? Weird. No, I'm not. I don't think I ever was. And have you gotten over me yet?"

He grinned, and held up a ring.

"I'm getting engaged today - asking her myself."

"Oh? To who?"

"Hinata Hyuga. You know, the old Student Council President? Her."

Sakura smiled.

"That's awesome, Naruto! Good luck in that!"

.

.

"So, what do you have to show me?"

Sakura turned around. It was around eight o' clock in the evening. She hadn't invited Sasuke there.

"Um. I haven't made any shirts. I've just written down some ideas."

"That's fine."

He sat down in a booth.

"Sorry. I'd have made some if I'd known you were coming in."

She sat down with him. He looked around.

"It's deserted," he noted. "When on Earth do you get out of here?"

"I work all the time. I leave around ten, and come here at eight."

"Is that even legal?"

"I begged for it."

He shrugged.

"Let me see those ideas."

She looked around her coat and pulled out the notepad and pencil.

"If you need to make any changes, use the pencil."

He looked at the pencil. "It has no eraser."

"Make due with it, it's all I've got."

He nodded, and looked through them all. He made a few markings and handed it back.

"The chloroform shirt isn't bad," he said.

She frowned.

"You put strikes through the rest."

"That one was the best to me."

She sighed.

"But you didn't laugh."

Sasuke looked at her, with a serious face.

"It's impossible, I'm telling you. I make myself laugh easily. But others are not good at it."

"But I'm not like everyone else, Sasuke."

Why did she put his name at the end of that sentence?

She sighed.

"Oh, so, you remember Naruto Uzumaki?"

"That weird kid from our old school? Yeah. What of him?"

"I ran into him today. He's asking a girl to marry him. Hinata Hyuga."

Sasuke grinned. Then, he snickered. And finally, he laughed. Sakura brightened up.

"No way! Naruto? Wow."

"Hey, shut it. He's getting married before you are."

Sasuke's laughter stopped. He stood up.

"Think you can take off early?" he asked her.

"Why?"

"I'll walk you home."

She grew defensive.

"N-no! That's okay! I can walk myself!"

"Sakura, let me walk you home."

She sighed. Who was she kidding? She couldn't say no.

"Fine. I'll take off in thirty minutes."

.

.

The reason she didn't want him walking her, was because she didn't want him knowing where she lived.

About thirty minute's walking distance from Lunar's was a cheap, run-down apartment complex. The cars in front were all old and beaten up. There was no security around, either.

"Sakura? Did your car get stolen?"

"N-no! I really did wreck it!"

He didn't seem to believe her, although her story was true.

"Damn, girl. You're thuggin'."

It was weird, hearing him say that. Creepy, actually.

She approached her door.

"Alright. Thanks for the walk."

He watched her pull out her keys.

"Sakura?"

"Hm?"

"Don't give up on this whole T-shirt thing. You've gotten better already. I'm sure you'll do fine."

He turned around, and walked away.

She thought about him for a moment, and went inside, when she was finally hit by an idea.

"Thuggin'!" she yelled, grabbing for her notepad. She quickly wrote it down. "That's it! Thuggin'!"

Of course, when she thought about it making Sasuke laugh, her doubts rose back up.

"Please," she prayed. "Please let me think of something."

**End-Of-Chapter Notes: Writing before I go to bed is great. Drinking "sleepy time tea" and writing, is another thing. I'm about to experience this...experience. It's going to be amazing.**


	3. Chapter 3: Heart Malfunction

**A/N: I finally got over my author's block. I was about to break down in hardcore tears.**

**Fershizzle.**

_**Reviews Appreciated**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Narut****o.**

**...**

"Thuggin'?"

Sakura grinned widely at him. He was not amused.

"Look."

He pointed to a girl at the bar. Her shirt was pink, with several black lines stretching all across it.

"What about her?"

Sasuke stood up, and walked to the girl with the pink shirt. She turned to look at him.

Sakura couldn't tell what they were saying. She could see that Sasuke was scratching the back of his head and acting nervous – out of character – and the girl seemed to be blushing. Sakura looked back at her shirt, and sighed. Sasuke then returned.

"So it's already been done..."

She put her head in her hands.

"How was I supposed ot know? I don't have a computer to look this up on."

She was stressed. Sasuke watched her, then spoke up.

"Hey..."

She lifted her head.

"Do you ever go people-watching?"

"What?"

"You know. To see what people are into?"

She shook her head. Sasuke nodded in response.

"When's your next day off?"

"I don't get days off."

"Well, fake sick."

"Maybe tomorrow."

He mulled it over.

"Sakura, how many days do you have left?"

"Eight."

"Then you don't have enough time to put it off."

"You want me to leave _now?_"

"I'll be waiting outside."

He left.

"Grr..."

She walked out of the booth area and into plain view.

_Here goes nothing,_ she thought. She clutched her ribs and fell to her knees in front of the bar. She then fell on her side, and accidentally hit her head on the ground. Now she _was _dizzy.

"Oh my gosh!"

Her boss approached.

"Sakura, are you okay?"

"Y-yes ma'am. I'm just a bit dizzy..."

The old woman shook her head.

"You've been working too hard. Take today off, and come back tomorrow."

"B-but Ms. Tsunade..."

"No 'buts'. Now, do you need a ride home?"

Sakura felt her heart warm up. Keep it together, Sakura. Don't smile.

"I...I'll call a friend to drive me."

She thanked her boss and left.

.

.

"That was fast."

He sat in his car with the passenger's window open.

"Were you going to just sit here and wait?"

"Yeah. I thought it would take you longer, and that I should go to sleep in the car or something."

She rolled her eyes, and opened the door. His car was clean, although it did have a few to-go cups in the cupholder. They were empty. Other than that, there was no clutter in the rest of the car.

"So, where are we going?"

Sasuke looked forward and put his foot on the brake. He turned the keys so that the car started.

"The mall."

He drove on the speed limit, and was fairly quiet the rest of the ride. He did not have road rage, dispite the idiots driving outside. Every now and then, he'd let out a low, frustrated growl, and move around the bad drivers.

"It's like all of the crazy people are out today," Sakura noted.

"It's always been like this. You just don't remember because you haven't driven in a year."

She huffed, and looked out the window.

The grass flew by so that all it was, was a shade of greenish-yellow. Sakura watched him drive – both hands were on the wheel, and he didn't take his eyes off the road. It was a sharp contrast to her driving style. She usually only used one hand, and drove very relaxed. Then again, she did just get in a wreck a year ago.

"Your hair's up," he noticed, breaking the short silence.

It was up in a high ponytail, tied with a purple ribbon. Her bangs remained down.

"Y-yeah. I didn't have time to do anything with it this morning."

He didn't say anything else.

.

.

Kiba walked his dog over to the dog park at this time. There, he happened to run into his old biology teacher, Kakashi Hatake. They didn't say anything to each other, so Kiba replaced the awkward silence with memories. He remembered many things from biology – mostly because he enjoyed comparing the human body to the bodies of canines – but one lesson really stuck out to him.

"_Mr. Kakashi? If you're only thirty, then why is your hair gray?"_

This question was asked by the class nuissance, Naruto.

"_Well," _he had responded, "_I used to smoke. A lot."_

"_Well, so did Mr. Asuma! He still does!"_

At this point, Sakura stood up.

"_Yeah! How can his hair be so amazingly silky and dark, while yours is so course and fried?"_

Kakashi groaned.

"_Because his gray hair went straight to his pubes. Smoking is bad, class. Which brings me to the next lesson-"_

Kiba looked back up, and smiled at the old teacher, who still managed to fail to notice him.

.

.

"So. I've seen the "Thuggin'" shirt over ten times," sighed Sakura. Sasuke ate his checken – by the way, they're in the food court – and stayed silent.

People walked by in all sorts of clothes. Sakura felt underdressed, in her homemade graphic tee. She'd had her arms crossed over her chest since she'd gotten into Sasuke's expinsive looking car.

Sasuke was just now noticing that her arms were crossed.

"Hey. What does your shirt say?"

She blushed.

"Nothing?"

"Sakura, let me see it."

She slowly uncrossed her arms. Her shirt read 'Nothing'.

Because of the utter ridiculousness of this situation, he decided to change the subject. But, he couldn't think of one. He was in deep thought. Sakura misunderstood his puzzled and thoughtful look for a five-minute-long glare, and instantly felt alarmed and frightened. She hoped he wasn't angry with her. Was her shirt really that bad?

All in all, the next hour or so was filled with blank, silent stupidity.

"Hey," Sakura finally said.

"Yeah?"

"You acted weird yesterday."

Wow. That's a conversation starter.

"So? You act weird every day."

"But you smiled. You laughed. What was that about?"

"I'm not a completely emotionless person."

"Yes, you are."

He looked away, angrily.

"It's just...I guess, hearing about Naruto, and his thing with Hinata...it shocked me a little."

Sakura thought over this.

"You guys were rivals in school," she said. "I guess me saying what I said didn't help, either."

He nodded, then looked back at her, ready to end the topic.

"Have any shirt ideas yet?"

"Yeah. I do."

"Can I hear them, so you don't waste money on shirts?"

"Hm...no."

She winked at him. Her shirt ideas weren't absolutely amazing, but they were fun sounding. Even if they didn't make him laugh, they'd still be things she would wear.

He didn't seem to mind not knowing.

"I guess being surprised wouldn't hurt. It's nice, going a day without you presenting things to me."

"I presented the Thuggin' shirt. And the one I'm wearing now."

He sighed.

"Oh yeah. I forgot."

People that walked by, Sakura noticed, were starting at them. The stares going at Sasuke were mostly stares that, if eyes could talk, said "Hey there, babe. You look like fun."

The glares for her said, "Biznitch. What are you doing with that guy? He's way out of your league. And you have pink hair. Who dyes their hair pink besides deperate middle and high school tramps? Or are you a tramp? That would explain how you got a guy like him. And your hair is so ugly in that ponytail - it's too short to even be up. What are you, a softball player? I hope you die. Seriously. You're hideous. Get out of my face."

The glares at her were more thought up and aimed at sheer hatred.

Sasuke was completely oblivious to everyone else. The only things he seemed to notice were the free samples and sales.

They passed by a Hot Topic.

"H-hey, Sasuke. Do you want to go in there?"

Sasuke glared.

"Hot Topic? Sakura, I'm a hipster, in case you haven't noticed."

"What? But their clothes look similar to what you wear-"

"Please say that's a joke."

She blinked, and he ran into the store. She followed him, to see him angrily searching the clothes.

Some girls followed them into the store. They must have liked what they were seeing. And by that, I mean they must have liked Sasuke, the travelling eye-candy.

"Damnit," he growled. "Now it's _cool _to be a _hipster?_ Looks like I need to start dressing differently."

"Well, you could always go mega-hipster and wear a suit and tie every day."

"Sakura, what kind of hipster does that?"

"Exactly."

He mulled this over, then jumped to realize that she had a point. What was more hipster than being completely different than other hipsters?

"Where can I get a tux around here..."

"Well, there's a Living Fancy around here somewhere."

"I have never heard of that store. Ever."

"It's pretty expensive. I like to window shop there sometimes, for when I'm going to be a fashion designer."

He followed her in. They were immediately greeted by two men - one middle aged, the other around their age. Their haircuts were the exact same. While we're at it, so were their eyebrows, suits, green ties, and skin tones. They must either be related or madly in love, thought Sakura.

"Hello there!" shouted the older one. "Welcome to Living FANCY!"

He put extra emphasis on the word "Fancy."

"I'm Might Guy!"

The younger one bowed.

"And I am Rock Lee!"

"Together we will help you find clothes that will suit your look like no other!"

They then bro-punched each other.

"May I be of service?" asked Rock Lee.

"Um," said a very, VERY startled Sakura. "N-no, that's fine. We'll search on our own."

Sakura looked around with Sasuke, and found a black suit with a blue tie.

"Want to try this one on?"

Sasuke shrugged.

"I've never really worn one of these - I'll try whatever you want, I guess."

She grabbed a few other suits, and sent him to the dressing room. While she waited on the couch outside, she felt a pair of eyes falling on her. It was uncomfortable, but she put up with it.

"Sakura? Are you out there?"

"Yeah?"

"I've tried them all on."

"What? But you didn't show any of them to me!"

He sighed, and put the last suit back on - this one was the one she had picked out first - and headed outside.

"Um..."

She looked at him. Then, she stared at him. It was different. Something she didn't ever expect to see. Sasuke looked like a true gentleman. The suit fit him perfectly, and made all of his good points look like great points. She heard crying from behind.

"Beautiful!" yelled Might Guy.

"Yes! It is quite splendid!" shouted Rock Lee.

She shook her head and looked back at him. Her face began to turn red.

"Sakura. You're doing that weird girl thing."

"What do you mean?"

He didn't answer. She must have looked pretty girly, the way she was gawking at him. This was the Sasuke she wished she would see every day.

"I'm going to take this off."

"Are you going to buy it?"

"No."

"But Sasuke - it looks amazing..."

"Do you honestly think I'm this type of guy?" he said, entering the dressing room again.

She sighed.

"Fine. Don't be sexy. See if I care."

Of course, the suit wasn't the only thing making him irresistable. She knew this, deep down.

But it was a nice suit.

.

.

He dropped her off at her apartment.

"Bye!" she yelled, stepping out of the nice car. The people in the neighborhood watched them suspiciously. They were probably waiting to see where they parked so that they could steal their car.

"See you tomorrow. Bring the shirts."

She headed into her room and locked the door.

"These ideas are amazing. I hope he likes them."

She paused, and looked back out the window. His car had left.

"Sakura, pull yourself together. You've got a lot of work to do."

She got started on designing the shirts. She wrote down her jokes, her lines, things she had thought up during that horrible silence with Sasuke. Sasuke...

She started writing things without realizing them.

Stubborn.

Jerk.

Stop-Waving-Your-Money-Around-In-My-Face-It's-Really-Starting-To-Piss-Me-Off.

She liked that one.

Then, she looked down at the final one, and jumped.

"Wait!"

She looked around, as if she thought she wasn't alone in the room – though she knew she was – and sighed.

"I can't believe I wrote that," she whined, stuffing the shirt in a box and putting it by her bed.

She layed down and looked up at the ceiling.

"Sakura Haruno, you're an idiot."

**...**

**/end of chapter notes: I'm a cheap person, I really am. I'm saving money for my Hollywood trip coming up in April. And it REALLY annoys me, when people ask me to go spend money either on them or with them. "Hey, Amber, let's go to the convention this weekend! It's only twenty dollars entry!" Bitch. I ain't got a job. How old you think I am? I don't have money coming out of my ass like Sasuke, either. :I**

**That's my rant for the day. Toodles!**

**OH! And next time there will definately be more...what's it called...oh yeah! My T-Shirt ideas will actually be announced next!**


	4. Chapter 4: Mental Malfunction

**A/N: Today, my teacher entered the room and told us the following phrase: "Life Sucks, Then You Die." I think I'm going to make that a T-Shirt. In real life. Not on here. But I like it.**

_**Reviews Appreciated.**_

"One strawberry lemonade, and a cappuccino."

Sakura accepted the drinks, leaving the bar and entering the seating area. Her usual friend sat there, in the booth across from the first one. It wasn't by the window, but was a row away from it.

As per usual, the lighting in the room was dim, and purple in tone. During the day, the windows kept the sun from entering, so it would always look like night. If the lights were not in use, the way it was during closing time, the seat cushions were revealed to actually be a light shade of sparkling pink. Lights on, and they were violet, like the rest of the cafe. Even people became violet – depending on their original pigmentation, it ranged from violet-red and light blue, to the color of pool water at night. Sasuke was pureply blue, no purple involved. Sakura came off as more of a pink.

"Do you seriously spend every day writing up shirts? I know that you're on a short schedule now, but come on, Sakura. The mall trip was supposed to teach you something."

"Look – this one has an actual joke!" Sakura barked at him, tossing the shirt onto his face. He read it, and grew slightly aggravated. Whether this was because of the shirt messing up his hair, or the joke, wasn't told.

"My other shirt had a chemistry joke on it...but it didn't get a reaction...Sakura, I-"

"Or this one!" she interrupted, throwing him another.

"They laughed at my braces...I laughed at their screams? This is okay, but it's already-"

"I even made some sentimental ones! This one says 'Love-'"

"Sakura!"

"No? Well this one's just an idea, but how about a line of comedy maternity shirts? Like, "Got Milk? I know I do!" or, "I'm craving borshch!"

"..."

She glared at him, waiting for him to speak so she could interrupt him again. He didn't say anything.

"Sasuke, I only have seven days left..."

He covered his face in his hands.

"I'm aware. But you need to stop spending money you earn here on shirts. Just write the ideas down. Seriously. Now then – don't even start with the stupid sentimental tees. They're the type of thing people wear when they haven't dont their laundry in a week. Plus, this is a comedy contest."

She sighed. "Well, what about the other ideas?"

"The maternity ones are a little...well, disturbing. And the chemistry one is, well..."

She leaned in. He was thinking of how to put it – that meant it had to be good, right?

"That shirt is like four and a half teaspoons of pure unfunnyness."

She slammed her head on the table.

"I guess it's back to the drawing board," she sighed, and dragged herself out of the booth.

"Hey, Sakura."

"Yeah? What?"

"You need to realize something. Here, sit back down."

She walked in reverse and sat back down.

"Nothing...nothing is ever going to make me laugh. You need to give it up. I'm Sasuke Uchiha. I have more bearing than a military officer."

She looked down.

"Sasuke...the truth is, I'm tired. I have to work from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep. I get an hour a day to make these shirts. I can't even do my hair anymore – I've been wearing it up everyday. No makeup either. But..."

He looked at her and waited for her to finish talking. His face was emotionless now, and hard to read.

"I wish I could make you laugh. I'm running out of ideas...and days. I can't take a break now. Not when everything depends on me winning this thing."

Sasuke shook his head and stood up.

"I'm leaving."

"What?"

"There are more important things in the world than winning this contest. You're overobsessing on the matter. That's why you can't come up with anything funny – because you're trying to be."

"Sasuke..."

"A good joke takes time. Comedians have to go a long time before they come up with new material. You just need to take a break. Honestly, Sakura...this contest is the worst thing that's ever happened to you."

With that, he stood up and left her there. His cup, completely empty and abandoned on the table, seemed to be staring at her. Sighing, she stood up and threw it away.

"Sakura."

She jumped and turned around to see her boss – Miss Tsunade.

"Oh! H-hi..."

She sat down, and crossed her hands.

"I need to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"This place..." Tsunade took her time talking, carefully thinking about each word before she said it. It sounded more like she was reading than speaking. "Lunar's Cafe. It's going to be shut down."

"What?"

Sakura quickly sat back down – again – and looked her boss in the eye.

"What do you mean? Why?"

"Not enough business, I suppose."

"But this place has been here for ages! What's gonna happen to it?"

"They're replacing it with a karaoke club."

This was possibly the worst day ever. Mostly because a karaoke club – drunken men singing poorly to Madonna and Boys II Men – was the one thing they were turning it into. A strip club would have been more appropriate.

"What can I do? Can I do anything?"

She sighed.

"Unless we can get more business in a week...A lot more..."

A coworker, who had already learned of the news, or was just really, REALLY nosy, ran around to them and almost tripped. Ino Yamanaka, the blonde.

"Sakura can fix it!" she yelled, then looked at Sakura. "You just have to come up with a catchy slogan and that will fix everything, right?"

"That could work," Tsunade added. "And we could put the slogan up on the board outside. Maybe save enough money to make a commercial?"

She shook her head, and looked miserably at the table. "Sorry guys. I haven't been getting enough sleep as it is."

Tsunade mulled it over.

"Then how about this: For the first hour of the day, all you have to do is think about the slogan. Every day. And I'll still pay you what you earn now."

Sakura bit her lip. Ino pleaded with her eyes, begging her to just write the damn slogan.

"I..."

She looked back up, a small hint of hope in her eyes.

"I'll do it."

.

.

That morning was definitely a slow one. Sakura hadn't even worked on shirts last night – nothing funny enough, she supposed. Today, all she could think about were shirts. Every time an idea came to her, she had trouble deciding whether to keep it for herself, or to use it on the business.

"How you doing?"

That voice?

She looked up to see Naruto. It partially surprised her.

"I'm..."

She couldn't decide whether to lie and make this quick, or to just fess up to everything.

"Trying to come up with a slogan. However you describe that..."

He smiled.

"I came to give you this."

He handed her an invitation – the wedding.

"N-Naruto..."

"I know we haven't spoken in forever but...well, what kinda guy would I be if I didn't invite you?"

"That's very kind...I guess."

_What kinda guy wouldn't stop by?_

She wrote that one down.

"So how are the shirts?"

"I...Well, they're going."

"When you win, you'll have to let me know. And, possibly, give me a free shirt?"

She smiled and nodded.

"If I win."

"Oh. You will."

.

.

"You want us to...what?"

"To dance. On the sidewalk. With these signs."

Sakura and Ino looked at each other, then back at the boards.

"What kinda guy wouldn't stop by? That sounds like the slogan for a pub. Or a stripper bar."

"Oh shut it, Ino. You're the one who told me to write something down."

"Why aren't we just putting it on the board?"

"Because. People notice people better. Especially clothing-clad women dancing with signs."

Clothing-clad?

"Excuse me, Tsunade," Sakura chipped in. "What do you mean by that?"

"The uniform change. Men like Hooters, and their food sucks. It's all in the breasts."

"Oh," Ino said, looking down at Sakura. "Then we're screwed." Sakura dismissed this.

"We're swapping to shorts and half-shirts."

"Shit." Sakura said, looking sadly at her sign. Hers read "What's better than eating food? Women serving you food." That's probably where the old hag got her idea.

"What will you wear?" Ino asked, worried.

"Ah, don't worry. I'll wear a simple business suit."

"What the hell?"

Tsunade simply smiled, and patted each of them on the shoulder.

"Knock them out."

"Who's gonna work in here while we're out there?" Sakura asked. Tsunade thought about this.

"Perhaps the two of you should alternate."

And that is how Sakura Haruno became a street-dancing-hipster-coffee-and-sandwich-shop-travelling-advertisement.

That is also how Sasuke saw her two days later, and decided to speak to her again. Because this was simply too much.

"So you're a street performer now, eh?"

Sakura turned around mid-dance – which was really more of a spasm, because she'd never had a lesson in her life and much less taken the time to watch a music video – and was surprised to see Sasuke.

"How many days left now..."

She turned back away and continued her dance-spasm.

"Five, was it?"

"I'm not gonna do it."

A shortly lived look of surprise came to life in him. Then it died, and the funeral sucked because there was no music and it was Athiest, so the guy couldn't really say anything about his afterlife without upsetting his Christian parents. He was buried in a graveyard somewhere in Iowa.

"Why not?"

"Because, I need to save the cafe."

Sasuke paused for a long time, then shook his head. A small, insignificant smile came to life in him. It lived a little bit longer than the surprise.

"I think you've learned a lesson."

"Huh?"

"Here. I have an idea."

He turned towards the road and stood completely still. She had no idea what on earth he was doing, till she began to notice more people turning in to Lunar's.

"Hey!" she yelled. "More people are coming! My ad must have worked!"

He shook his head, and she got it. Sasuke was attracting the females to eat there. Girls rarely went to Lunar's alone, because of the all-female cast. Perhaps if they hired some attractive men, then they'd get more customers. She smiled.

"Sasuke!" She yelled, so happy she could almost kiss him. "You just gave me an idea that could save us!"

She ran inside, throwing off the dumb board and nearly breaking the door down. However, Miss Tsunade was nowhere to be found.

**End of Chapter Notes: Wow. I forgot I had a fanfiction account. And when I remembered, I was like "Oh dear. Some of my readers could be pissed."**

**Sorry guys. I'll write more later.**


	5. Chapter 5: Job Malfunction

**An. **Well now, I'm starting to finish up on most of my stories I plan on continuing. I need to start coming up with new material. But at the same time, I really need to stop writing ten stories at once. I'm starting to do a lot more short stories in my free time.

Reviews? :)

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

"Well, as fate would have it, Lunar's Cafe was shut down today when police reported that the owner was permitting drug deal within the restaurant."

The TV flashed a few images of the investigation. At the moment, it was the only light on in the dark house. Sasuke sighed.

"Well, looks like I'll be picking Sakura up now, doesn't it..."

he shuffled around, hesitating as to whether or not he wanted to get off his couch. He could only imagine what a joy Sakura would be to talk to. (That was sarcasm, of course.) Eventually, he got up, grabbed his car keys off the table, and left.

The radio sucked that morning. After repeating "CAll Me, Maybe" once or twice, the DJ decided he was in a workout music mood and played other unfortunate songs - Katy Perry, Selena Gomez, Rihanna, the whole fucking package. He'd change the station, but Sakura hated his type of music.

Had Lunar's Cafe been a place people actually liked, Sasuke would have expected a crowd. But, honestly, it was just "meh" quality. No, the only people there were the workers, all looking at the building in disbelief.

And there was Sakura.

He rolled the window down.

"Hey, Sakura."

He said this just loud enough so that she would hear him. She turned around, with all emotion gone from her face. She figured he'd come to pick her up, but not so quickly.

Sakura approached the car.

"Oh, hey Sasuke..."

"How long have you been here?"

She shook her head.

"Tsunade called me last night...she said it wasn't true, but the evidence stated otherwise. So we're being shut down, for good..."

Sasuke absorbed the information with little to no reaction. "Get in," he ordered.

She did as told, and he drove; but he didn't drive her to her home.

"Sasuke, can you please turn that shit off?" she growled, tired of hearing repeats. Why did so many people like this station?

"Would you rather listen to something else?"

"I don't care, put on some of your lame Indie music or something. Just not this crap..."

He nodded and simply turned the radio off. She wouldn't like any music today.

"Where are we going, anyways?"

"We're just driving."

She looked out the window and watched the trees roll by.

"Sasuke...?"

"What?"

"I have to finish that contest now...it's my only hope at ever going anywhere. So I'll buy a few more shirts...I won't print the words on them until you've proven they're funny...okay?"

Sasuke nodded. She was frighteningly calm for what he was imagining her to be like earlier - she wasn't even crying.

.

.

They stopped driving several hours later. Sakura had long since fallen asleep.

"Sakura," Sasuke said, nudging her. "Hey, wake up."

She didn't open her eyes. He watched her for a moment. She was so calm, so peaceful. Her eyelashes were long and dark, in contrast with her pale face. The hair that was usually so neat and in place was messy, laying halfhazardly around her head.

He leaned closer, nudging her one more time.

"Sakura, get up," he said a little louder, causing her to open her eyes. Raindrops fell against the car.

"Where...are we?"

"Well, why don't you look around and tell me?"

She sat up and ran her fingers through her hair. It didn't honestly matter how she looked right now, Sasuke had seen her like this before on many occasions. It was hard to tell through the rain, but eventually she found the sight of sand touching water. The water went out for miles until it finally met up with the sky.

"The...beach? But it's raining..."

"Does it matter? It's kind of neat, and less crowded."

She looked out at the water longingly.

"I...well, is it safe?"

"Sure, so long as you don't be stupid and run around in the water. We're sticking to a few yards away from the shoreline."

She slid out of the car. The rain was cold as ice, but the air was hot as fire, causing a cloud of mist around her and other objects. Sasuke looked like an angel, standing there with the aura around him.

The two walked without words along the sand, until they found a dry picnic area in a grassy stretch of land nearby. In silent agreement, the two decided to go to it, and stand under the roof.

Everything was so quiet...

"Sasuke...?"

"Yeah?"

"Um...thank you...for taking me here..."

"We'll be staying here until the deadline of the contest. Okay?"

"Here? But - why?"

"Because you need all the concentration you can get. Not only is this a rural beach area because of all the rain, but it's peaceful. You should be able to think more clearly here..."

She smiled at him.

"Yeah. Okay. But the hotel -"

"No worries. I'll pay for it."

There was no romance between the two of them, but for once, Sakura felt a tiny bit of longing for Sasuke. She wanted to stand closer to him, feel the heat coming off of him in the rain-soaked breeze. Step by step, she got closer to him.

He didn't scoot away, either.

.

.

Sharing a room with Sakura was going to be a huge pain. Yeah, there were two beds and all, but she talked _so much_. Mostly, her conversation was on shirt ideas.

"So, I was thinking about it, and what if there were a shirt that said 'My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they like:', and then the bottom half of the shirt were a mirror that would reflect their face while they read the shirt?"

"I don't think reflection works like that, not when they're reading your shirt. The mirror would only show their torso. And aren't you only allowed to have words on it? And how hard would it be to clean that shirt?"

"Oh. Well, how about a shirt that says 'I'm not funsized. I'm just short.' You know, for the people that don't like being short?"

"..."

"Okay, um..."

"Just give it a rest, would you? Think them up overnight or something."

"Well, I could do a random word generator shirt, just put two words together and see if they're funny or not. Like, 'Rectified Emulation'."

"...Rectified Emulation?"

"Yeah."

"...Sakura, where are you even coming up with those words?"

"Is it funny?"

"No. It's not. Even if you picked funny words, it still wouldn't be funny."

"I have one more idea."

"_What?"_

"How about shirts with insults on them? Like, 'Bucket of sluts', or, 'Barbeque-skulled Mulesniffer'?"

"How is someone Barbeque-skulled?" Sasuke wondered out loud, obviously not finding humor in the ideas.

"I don't know, maybe they're thin-skulled or something?"

"Just go to bed."

"Aw. Okay."

She rolled over in her bed and shut her eyes. Sasuke listened to the silence and almost fell asleep.

"Hey, Sasuke..."

"What?"

"You're a pig-faced colonslut."

"Okay, Sakura."

"Just thought you should know."

"Go to sleep."

.

.

* * *

><p><strong>notes. <strong>It is extremely hard to write while listening to Shakuhachi music. But the sound of the music itself is so beautiful...I'm in tears.


	6. Chapter 6: Drinking Malfunction

**An. **My room is a thousand freaking degrees. Not only that, but I just read _the most adorable fanfiction I have ever laid eyes on. _So, I'm dying of a heatstroke. Because everything makes me blush. EVERYTHING.

**An2: **It shall now be announced that Sasuke's personality in this story is based on the beginning of the anime, when he almost became friends with Naruto. (Right before Orichimaru makes his balls drop.)

Reviews are appreciated.

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?"

Sakura's arms were crossed behind her back. She was leaning forward, so it was as if she were trying to be cute. However, it was really just annoying - because no one should ever be that close to someone else's face. Sasuke laid back a little, to try and make some distance and, more than that, to hide his man-blush.

"Well," he said, looking away, "You should probably get started on those shirt ideas..."

"Aw, for a whole day? That's no fun. We're at a beach!"

Sakura stood up and thrusted her arms into the air upon her last sentence.

"Let's do beach stuff!"

"It's raining."

"Well, let's do beach stuff in the rain!"

"Shirts come first."

It was odd now. When the contest started out, it was as if Sasuke wanted absolutely nothing to do with the whole ordeal. Now he was rushing her to get started? Odd. But then, it was Sasuke.

"Fine," Sakura whined, plopping down at the small hotel desk that was in the room. Dispite its size, it was still bigger than the one in her apartment. She started to write, and then stopped.

Minutes flew by.

"What do you have so far?" Sasuke asked, leaning over her shoulder to read. All that was on the paper was the title, reading 'Shirt Ideas, by Sakura' and a small drawing of a giraffe in the lower right corner.

"It's hard to think these things up on the spot, you know?"

"...no."

"Oh, right. I forgot, I'm talking to the least funny person in the entirety of the universe."

"Well, stop talking and start writing then."

Sakura glared at the paper, then slowly began to jot a few ideas. She giggled.

"Okay, Sasuke - you need to tell me if these are okay," Sakura announced after a few minutes. She held up the paper.

_Shirt Ideas, by Sakura_

_1. "Secretly a Unicorn"  
>2. "I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is." (Men's shirt.)<br>3. "I was gonna wear a nice shirt today, but then I got high."  
>4. "Dunce"<br>5. "The wearer of this shirt is a sophisticated businessman."  
>6. "My name is not Roger."<br>7. "Nine inches."_

_-Sakura Haruno._

"Uh..."

Sasuke's eyes scrolled down the list. His face lit up a little, but that was the only real reaction.

"They're stupid, aren't they..."

Sakura laid her head down on the table. Sasuke looked at her for a moment before speaking up.

"You're...getting better..." he said. "What's up with number seven?"

"Nine inches?"

"Yeah."

"Shit, Sasuke - if you were to wear a "Nine inches" shirt, you'd have women everywhere."

"Already do, I'm afraid."

"But you'd have more women."

"I really don't want any more. Seriously. I think douchebags would buy the shirt, but I'm not so sure about anyone else."

"Douchebags certainly would _not_ buy it, Sasuke!" she yelled, for no reason. "A douchebag would call nine inches small, and then walk away. It would take a man of real confidence to buy this."

"Is that what they call it now?"

"You know what? Let's go for a walk."

.

.

It wasn't even raining today, but it was still almost completely isolated. Cool winds blew up from the beach, with mingled bitterly with the hot air.

"It feels awesome," Sakura sighed.

"So, you said you had ten days left...that was how many days ago?"

Sakura pouted. "I have five days left, if that's what you're asking."

"Five days...man, we've got to get you writing."

"You can't rush me on this," she growled. Sasuke looked at her stubbornly for a minute, sighed, and pushed his hair back.

"Alright, whatever - don't expect me to pay your rent when you're jobless."

"Pfft, as if!"

Sasuke stopped walking and quickly turned around to look at Sakura. She blushed and took a step back.

"Sakura!"

"W-What?"

"How old are you?"

"Huh? I'm...um...twenty three! Why did I forget how old I am...oh whatever. Why?"

Sasuke suddenly lowered his voice. "Just wondering."

She blinked. "Wait...Sasuke, why wouldn't you know that?"

"Well, you never said when your birthday was during school or anything, so...yeah."

"I figured you'd just kind of get what age I was, since we had the same classes and all - we'd be the same age."

"Sakura."

"What now?"

"Let's go have drinks."

"What? Like, alcohol?"

"No. Like fucking kool-aid. Of course alcohol. Nothing heavy, just, you know, enough to say 'Hey, I drank an alcoholic beverage.'"

"You've never drunk before?" Sakura asked, then wondered if it was "drunk" or "drank" that she was supposed to use.

"Um, yeah. I have. But you haven't."

"How would you-"

"You were telling me about it last week. Come on, there's a restaraunt in town - we can go there."

.

.

The restaraunt was nice, although it really wasn't anything unordinary.

And it was the only place to eat within five miles.

"O-Oh, a customer," a man said, wearily. He approached them. "Hello, welcome...welcome to Neil's..."

"Table for two," Sasuke ordered.

"Y-yes sir."

He lead them to a table immediately. It would have been considered extraordinarily fast service if not for the fact that they were the only ones there.

"Here are your...menus," the man said, handing them two sheets of paper. "I'll be right back to take your drink orders...but first, I have to wake the chefs up..."

He left. Sakura looked at Sasuke.

"Wake the chefs up? Seriously? Okay, how come Lunar's goes under, but this place-"

"Lunar's went under for a completely different reason."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot..."

They awkwardly stared at each other while waiting for the man to return. He came back swiftly.

"Sorry about that, those guys sure are heavy sleepers!"

He rubbed his hands together nervously, while staring at the two. He was obviously waiting to take their drink orders.

"Um, are you ready?" Sakura asked him, unfamiliar with his style of waiting.

"Oh, yes ma'am."

"Okay, let me have the-"

"She'll take a strawberry daquiri, and I myself will take a tropical martini."

"Okay. But first I'll have to see your IDs."

Sasuke held up his driver's liscence. Sakura scrambled for hers, then found it.

"Right away," the waiter said, skipping off.

Sakura blinked.

"So...you're a fruity cocktail kind of guy?"

"Shut it."

"Well, I guess it's better than beer or whisky...although it is girly..."

"Am I really hearing this?"

.

.

"Holy...shit..."

Sakura stumbled around on the beach. She had only had two glasses of her drink, and she was_ tipsy as hell._

Sasuke wasn't.

"It's like, I'm walking in _space_ or something..." Sakura giggled.

"Maybe now would be a good time to start working on shirts?" Sasuke asked.

"...Now would be a good time to start taking off my shirt? Sasuke, you pervert! I didn't know you had it in you!"

"What...have I done?"

Sasuke shook his head.

"Let's...let's keep walking to the hotel, Sakura. Okay? Then we'll give you some paper to write on."

"I like writing," Sakura sang. "I like it, cuz it's fun..."

She latched onto his shirt.

"Fun like...like your face. I wanna do your face."

"That's nice, Sakura."

.

.

Sakura looked at the pencil for a good hour before putting it to use. She kept asking strange questions about it, half of which consisted of it being an alien spaceship.

Eventually, she put it to work.

_Sakura's Shirt Ideas_

_1. "There's a cow in the ceiling..."  
>2. "Whoa, man, why are you staring at me like that?"<br>3. "CIRCLES."  
>4. "When it gets hot, remove me."<br>5. "So, like, I wonder what Sasuke's hair would look like in a samurai bun. Seriously.  
>Because I can imagine, he'd look kind of like my uncle.<br>My uncle has three eyes._

_Haiku:_

_This guy in my room,  
>Hair smells like happy powder,<br>Duckling Porridge. Yay._

After finishing up her interesting report, she promptly leapt on top of Sasuke, who was watching the TV from his bed.

"What the-"

"Sasuke, there's a strange man writing poems in our basement!"

"Sakura, you're not making any sense. Go to sleep."

"Only if you sleep with me."

"...what?"

"Go to sleep...with me..."

Sakura looked like she was about to either molest him, or pass out.

"Okay, I'll sleep," Sasuke sighed. "But you have to promise to not do anything stupid."

"Stupid is...not my middle name!"

She giggled for a while. Sasuke face-palmed and rolled over to face the wall. Sakura uncomfortably wrapped around him.

"Good night, Sasu-cakes~"

"Yeah."

.

.

* * *

><p><strong>notes. <strong>I love drunk people.  
><strong>more notes. <strong>So. Catherine. It's a great game, bruh.


	7. Chapter 7: Sasuke's Malfunction

**An. **Only four chapters left after this one! Brace yourselves, ladies and gentlemen! (But probably ladies, because this isn't a very manly story.)

Reviews are, as always, appreciated.

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

He wasn't really sure as to whether or not he should wake her up. For one thing, she was all but strangling him so that he couldn't move - much less reach the TV remote. On the other hand, if Sakura had a hangover, he really didn't want to be there for it.

Two daquiris, and she got drunk. Seriously.

He turned his head to look at her. Her hair was a mess, with random strands tossed all around her head. Her mascara was smeared down to her cheeks, which were colored a light red. She looked as if she had just gotten out of a crazy high school party.

Sasuke looked down to make sure his pants were still on - just because he had a serious fear that Sakura had raped him overnight. They were still on.

"Sa..."

He gulped, not wanting to be slapped across the face or anything.

"Sakura...wake up...I can't reach the remote..."

"Mmmmmmh," Sakura responded, eyelids twitching.

"Seriously. Wake up."

She growled at him and sat up, then immediately regretted it. She covered her face with her hands, using them as a mask.

"Damn, it's bright in here."

Sasuke looked around.

"It really isn't."

"Why are you yelling?"

"I'm not."

Sakura groaned and made her way to the bathroom, never taking note of the fact that she had woken up in Sasuke's bed. She reached for the shower handle - morning showers being her everyday wake-up routine - and put her hand under the faucet. It was one of those showers at hotels with too much pressure and not enough water.

"Damn it," she complained. "It's going to be like bathing with a knife."

If it were at a house of a friends, she'd have simply switched it to a bath. However, her mother had always told her not to take baths in hotel bathrooms, because you never knew who used them. Although that was a fairly stupid thing to say, Sakura was a fairly stupid person (sometimes), and had never ceased to believe in that statement.

So, right foot in first, she eased her way into the shower of torture, and tried to get used to it. All they had was the horrible hotel shampoo, half of which seemed to have already been used.

"I should have just taken a hooker bath."

Suddenly, the water reached what felt like being pelted with hail.

"HOLY SHIT, THAT'S COLD!" Sakura screamed, turning off the water. She stood there for a few minutes, shivering, then opened the curtains to look for a towel. To her chagrin, there were none.

So she kind of sat there, figuring she'd just air dry.

It was very cold.

Suddenly, the door opened. "Sakura, I forgot to mention that the workers were cleaning towels yesterday, so I went downstairs to-"

Sasuke widened his eyes, dropping two off-white towels on the floor.

Both of them just kind of stared at each other for a minute, mouths open in horror.

And then, Sasuke walked backwards out of the room, shutting the door behind himself.

Nothing was said of this incident afterwards, although Sasuke wouldn't even look at Sakura for the next hour.

.

.

"So. Did you read what you wrote last night?"

"Yes. And it was embarrassing. How drunk was I?"

Sasuke looked to his left without turning his head. "_Pretty_ _drunk."_

"I'm sorry."

"No harm done."

Sakura pulled out a notepad.

"I'm...gonna start writing now."

"Okay."

She tapped her pencil on the paper, trying to think of something funny. She made a few humming noises, then began to write.

"Shirt Ideas, by Sakura," she read out loud. She then made a point to get completely silent so as to not spoil her ideas.

Sasuke continued watching Grey's Anatomy (because it was the only show on), paying no attention to her.

.

.

"They all sucked."

Sakura and Sasuke were now about two hours out of the town, stopping at a bar-be-que restaraunt.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Sasuke replied, too focused on his meal to really be paying attention. It was quite messy, and he didn't feel like messing up his new scarf.

"It's like my sense of humor died again."

"Well, you have four days."

"Blegh."

"It's plenty of time to think something up."

"Since when are you an optimist?"

"I'm a realist, actually."

"I'm pretty sure you're just a hipster," she replied, jotting down _Hipster In Denial _on her notepad. Regardless of how Sasuke took it, she'd make that shirt for him, as an outside-of-the-contest thing.

"If you say so..."

Sasuke was definately acting weird, and acting weird when you're _Sasuke Uchiha _basically means you're a total freak. He barely spoke all day.

"So, erm...what happened to us spending the whole time at the beach? The time until the deadline, I mean..."

"Well, I didn't pack for nearly long enough. Today's outfit is my last one. So I'm going to go home and get more. We'll return after the deadline, if that's okay."

"Yeah! Sure!"

Sakura smiled. Sasuke looked back at his food, cheeks beginning to redden. Sakura tilted her head.

"You keep looking away from me - you alright?"

Sasuke nodded. It was getting hard to be around her, for some reason. He couldn't tell if he was angry with her or not.

"Probably just wanna go home, right?"

"Huh? Oh...yeah."

"Could have said you were homesick, dummy!"

Sakura pushed her plate to the side. She was full now, and ready to get back in the car. She wondered how long the waitress would be on bringing her check. Service was slow here.

"Hey..."

"What is it?"

"Don't worry about the payment...I'll take care of it."

"Are you sure?"

Sasuke nodded. Of course, him offering to pay for anything was also unusual.

"Well, I don't know what happened to the old Sasuke, but I like this one!" she laughed.

"Just this once. You can...go start the car up."

He tossed her the keys.

.

.

They pulled into Sakura's neighborhood around seven. She handed him a sheet of paper.

"So, this is what I've written today."

Sasuke looked down the list and smiled. Well, sort of. It was a Sasuke Uchiha smile, so it was really more of a smirk-ish-thing.

But whatever.

"You're definately showing improvement, Sakura. Although, some of these are still kind of weird. By tomorrow, I expect to see the one thing that will win."

"Are you serious?" she asked, taking the list back. "Which one? Which one made you-"

"They're all good."

"Are you for real?"

"I'm not lying."

He got out of the car, made a big deal about locking it so that it wouldn't be stolen in the five minutes he was here, then walked her to her door.

"So, I'll write some more tonight and then you can come back in the morning."

"Okay."

"Don't come back too late, though. Try to make it between nine and twelve, because I plan on going job-hunting."

"Okay."

"Oh, and Sasuke - if something does happen and you can't make it here until after that, come after three. I shouldn't have other plans. And we could have supper again tomorrow."

"Okay."

"Thank you, Sasuke."

"For what?"

She smiled.

"This whole random beach trip...it was very spontaneous, and very kind of you to pay for all of it. Especially with my lack of a job now. And I want you to know that if there's anything I can do to pay you back, I will."

Sasuke was staring at her. No, he was staring _into_ her, as if he were somehow going to read her mind. He raised an eyebrow.

"Er...what?"

He bent over and, before he knew what was going on (much less before Sakura knew what was going on), he had planted a kiss onto her lips.

Sakura's eyes widened, and her face turned a darker pink than her hair.

Sasuke held the kiss for around ten seconds, then backed up. His face turned a shade of red.

"Um...um...uh..." Sakura said, profoundly. "Er...uh..."

Sasuke took a step backwards.

"I...I'm sorry, about that..."

_Jesus, what am I saying? _he thought. He quickly turned to go back to his car.

"Um..." Sakura continued. Then, she got a grip. "Wait...Sasuke, wait!"

She ran up to his car and knocked on his window. He rolled it down.

They both looked at each other for a while. Then, she spoke up.

"Will you...come by tomorrow?"

Sasuke looked away. "I..."

"Please?" Sakura insisted.

He slowly turned back to face her, then blushed again. "Yeah...I'll come back."

The car started, and Sakura stepped away from it. And there went Sasuke.

She made her way to the door, and unlocked it. She entered her apartment and opened the fridge to pour herself a glass of juice. She was dizzy.

"Holy...shit..." she whispered to herself, completely confused. The shock of the moment just then hit her. She sat down against the counter, and wrapped her arms around her knees. "Holy shit..."

She looked up at the ceiling and cursed at herself.

.

.

* * *

><p><strong>notes. <strong>For those of you who are mathematically ignoramous, there are going to be eleven chapters in this story. As well, I apologize for the lack of t-shirt ideas in this chapter! Can't be happy every time, I suppose.  
>SASUSAKU. YOSH.<p> 


	8. Chapter 8: Malfunction Theft

**An.** So.  
>Apparently I'm going to Tennessee tomorrow. I did not know about this until today.<br>And here I was thinking summer was almost over...sigh...

* * *

><p><strong>.<strong>

**.**

"He...kissed me..."

She walked around her room nervously, trying to figure it out. She hadn't gotten the least bit of sleep the previous night, and when she would shut her eyes, she'd see his face.

"Ugh!" she grunted, leaning against the wall. "I can't make sense of any of this!"

The notepad lay blank on her table. She had at first tried to settle down by writing shirt ideas, but it honestly just stressed her out more.

It was four in the afternoon.

Sasuke had yet to show up.

She hated being confused, although there really was nothing to be confused about. Sasuke liked her, plain and simple. He'd been keeping it from her, for whatever reason, and after that weekend, he must have just been unable to hold it back anymore.

Regardless, she didn't have anyone levelheaded to explain this to her, so she really just kind of sat there, wondering about it. She was a little hungry, but every time she'd look for food to eat, there was nothing there. Sure, she had ingredients and instant meals, but it looked so...empty.

"Damn it, Sasuke!" she yelled, pacing once again. "What the fuck? Really – why now? Why didn't you say anything? Talk to me, damn it! Just come over!"

She found herself at the window. She peeked through the blinds to see if his car had pulled in, to see if he were only running late. Didn't matter, the minute he walked in he'd get the scolding of his life on how you can't just kiss a girl and then run off. She was disappointed to see that he had not pulled in yet, and that there was a light fog beginning to build up.

_Three days._

Three days until the contest. And she had nothing but a list of silly ideas. And to top it all off, she was beginning to wonder if fashion designing was ever really her dream. It had been a fantasy, a thought in her mind all the way through school. It was a passion of hers, making her own shirts. She hadn't really had any other goals. Now she really understood what people were talking about when they said not to put all of her eggs in one basket.

But without this, she had nothing...

Desperately, she grabbed the notepad, jotting down every thought that came to her mind until eventually, her mind just stopped working and she couldn't write anything else.

* * *

><p>It was late for her to start job hunting, but she figured that nothing else would happen today. She got her shower and threw her hair up in the usual ponytail. Today was definitely a sweatpants day.<p>

She left her house around five thirty, taking a mental pledge to head home at seven thirty so that she could reach her house before sundown.

There were plenty of jobs hiring for once – most of which involved waiting tables and standing behind counters. She didn't want to do these things, but she had to make money somehow. She applied for three different places – each a beauty store, since she had already worked as a waitress and decided she really didn't like the lifestyle – and embarked on the way back home.

And when she got there, her door was already unlocked.

"Sasuke...?" she asked, entering the apartment. The lights were all off. "Sasuke, are you in here?"

After no response, she headed towards her room.

There were boxes everywhere, so she had to feel her way around, blindly.

That's when she heard the shuffling, and saw a bright light turn towards her. The only thoughts she had were a panicked frenzy of cursing and slang. She ran towards the front door, and made her way out. She was being chased.

"Help!" she screamed. "Oh _God,_someone! Come outside!"

As luck would have it, no one answered her.

"Help!" she bawled as she frantically searched for her way out of the apartment complex. Finally, she found the main building. Frightened, she ran into it.

The building was disgustingly calm, with a fresh scent of Febreze throughout it. It was green-walled with old brass decorations plastered plainly on the wall, and old brown couches creating a sort of lobby.

The woman that was always at her desk - the one who always pretended to care whenever problems arose but never seemed to do anything about it - stood up.

"Why, hello there, Miss Haruno. What brings you here? We were just about to close up the store for the day..."

"I need to use your phone...there was a man in my house!"

"What? Are you sure it wasn't one of our maintenance men?"

"I'm pretty damn positive it wasn't one of your damn maintenance men! Let me call the police!"

The woman looked annoyed as she handed her the phone. She muttered about how this would cause the apartments' rates to stoop even further down, and how Sakura really needed to get a cell phone instead of coming here when it was an emergency.

"H-hello, police? My name is Sakura Haruno, I live in Red Bay Apartments, Apartment Building 204, Room 16, and there was a man in my house. He chased me up to the main apartment building, and-"

The door opened, allowing a tall man in. He was wearing black pants and a black shirt, and had a slightly friendly face. She backed up.

"-And he's right here. Come quickly."

She hung up the phone as the man approached her, and slowly began to back away. He grinned, turning his innocent look into a devious one.

"Excuse me, sir, but we're about to close," the woman at the front desk said. "Please come back some other time."

He looked at her, and dropped his evil smile.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was just leaving," he said, walking out of the building. Sakura saw his back pocket puffed out in the shape of something...a box?

"Sakura, you should leave too," she said. "I have to close everything down and we really aren't supposed to have people in here."

"Th-that man...he's the guy who..."

"Don't make me throw you out," she said. "You have three minutes."

She walked away sourly, leaving Sakura wondering what to do next. If she went outside, the man could be waiting for her. If she waited here, she'd be thrown out, putting both herself and the bitchy desk lady in trouble.

She remembered how nice that woman used to be, and was wondering how many other apartment complexes had fake middle aged women as their main employees.

She slowly staggered her way to her feet and approached the door, taking a second to promptly flip the woman off. Then, she slammed the door, and looked around for the man, wondering if he'd jump her.

Sirens blared in the background.

"Damn, why do they do that? I want him to get caught, not scared off!" she whispered loudly, looking around in a panic.

He wasn't visible, but she could hear him running away - making his way out of the neighborhood.

* * *

><p>"So, miss, have you checked the inside of your house since the reported theif ran away?"<p>

"No sir, I haven't. I was worried there might be more people in there," she said, looking down at her feet. "I figured I'd wait for someone to show up before I looked around..."

She still wondered what was in the box in the theif's pocket. Worry made its way through her body as she tried to think about what anyone could possibly want to steal from her.

She wasn't exactly rich.

The man finished asking her questions on the burgler's appearance before walking into her house with her. Now that the lights were on, she noticed that boxes were everywhere, the little furniture she had was knocked over and broken, and the door leading to her bedroom was cracked. She slowly made her way into it, alarmed.

"There wasn't anything worth it in here," she whimpered. "So _why...?_"

_Black box..._

She jumped, and suddenly ran to the other side of her room. One side table stood untouched, the drawer pulled out. Everything was still there.

She stepped back.

Everything was still there, except for her black box.

She ran into the room.

"I know what he stole," she said, alarmed. The man she had previously spoken to turned towards her. She continued. "My mother's necklace...it was very valuable...supposed to go towards my wedding dress..."

She sounded choked up.

"How much would you say it was worth?" he asked. She turned to him.

"It was around three hundred dollars for the thing...she wore it for her wedding...it had more sentimental value than anything..."

The policeman glanced around the room.

"We can't promise you anything, but I will tell you this - we will look for the man who broke into your house."

* * *

><p>It was twelve when she went to bed.<p>

"_Fucking asshole,_" she cried, hugging her pillow. "Sasuke, why didn't you come? You always...you _always_show up when I'm in trouble...you said you'd be here..."

She tried to make sure, be positive that he did say that and not a "maybe I'll come back" or "I'll think about it."

No, his words were sure as could be - "I'll come back", that's what he said.

So then, why?

* * *

><p><strong>End-of-chapter notes.<strong>

I've been on a hiatus for a while. It's summer, so you can't really blame me.  
>I'll probably be writing more now that everyone's not wanting to hang out.<br>Reviews are appreciated!


	9. Chapter 9: Money Malfunction

**.**

**.**

Two days left.

Two days and she had absolutely nothing. No Sasuke, no ideas…and now, her mother's necklace was gone.

Slowly, she dragged her way to the scattered boxes where her notebook was previously left, and after some digging, pulled it out.

"Straight and single…" she wrote, reflecting herself onto the notepad. "Hello, my name is heartbreaking bitch."

She slowly made a list of ideas, but none of them were funny, and had no competition with what she began with. Two days ago, it seemed like she was great at this. Now she was nobody. Frustrated, she crumpled up the page and threw it across the room.

"Damn! Maybe I should just write down one of my old ones and mail it in…the chloroform shirt was funny…"

She searched for her wallet and found that she had a mere twenty dollars in it, and her previous paycheck had yet to be delivered. She sighed.

"This is my only hope…"

So, she put the twenty dollars in her back pocket and made her way to the nearest supermarket, not bothering to shower or get out of her nightclothes. The five dollar white shirts would be fine. She had just enough black ink, too.

She made her way to the register, and looked up to see a familiar face.

"Ino?"

Ino smiled and nodded. "Hey Sakura…never imagined that a supermarket would pay less than waitressing at a barely above broke café..."

She let out a nervous laugh. Sakura looked down. "Hell, at least you found a job. I'm broke and fading. The last of my savings go towards that shirt contest."

The blonde stared at her, trying to comprehend what she had just heard. Sakura was unemployed? _And_ being unwise with money?

After a moment of silence, Sakura handed her a five. Ino took it, and bagged the shirt. Then, she reopened the register, and pulled out a five.

"Here's your change."

"Wh-what? I could have sworn I paid with a five…"

"Well, you didn't. It was a ten. Have a nice day, Sakura…Save your money for food."

Sakura touched her shoulder and nodded, to say thanks, and grabbed her shirt.

"Hey, Sakura…where's your man?"

"My…man?"

"You know, the sauce."

"The sa-oh…well, he's gone."

"Gone?"

"Gone."

.

.

As Sakura made her way home, she saw a woman standing at her door, looking curiously at the window. She looked around for a blunt object and found a pipe laying conveniently on the street. She took it, and headed towards her room.

"Can I help you?" she asked, tightening her grip. The woman turned around, and then widened her eyes.

"O-oh, I'm sorry, I must have the w-wrong house…do you happen to know where Sakura Haru…Haruno is?"

After a long glare-off, she realized that she also knew this woman. Hinata Hyuga, the girl who was soon to marry Naruto. What was she doing here?

"Oh…I'm sorry, ma'am," she said, releasing the pipe. "I was robbed last night and didn't realize…"

Hinata looked around. "I believe that…"

Sakura opened her door and welcomed the woman in. "So, uh, what can I do for you, Hinata? That's your name, right?"

"Oh, so you remember me from high school? Lovely," She said with a smile. "I'm actually here on business…you applied at a boutique I work at and I was coming to give you an interview. We actually didn't need any workers, but since I recognized your name…"

Sakura nodded, and she stopped rambling.

"I'm sorry. So…uh…you know, I don't think I really need to ask you several of these questions…" Hinata said, looking at her clipboard. "I think I will just talk to you and figure it out from there."

"Okay."

"Sakura, you were top of the class in high school. My fiancé, he said he met you working at that café, Lunar's…but it got closed down. But what I don't understand is how someone like you got a job like that? You were so smart."

"I'm still smart, Hinata, I just didn't plan ahead and thought I'd be welcomed as a fashion designer right off the bat."

"So it failed you?"

She wanted to argue against that, but the way things had been going, she couldn't. "Yeah."

"Are you still working on becoming one?"

"I am…I just entered a contest for it, but it doesn't look like I'm doing too well."

"Don't put yourself down, Sakura…I'm sure you'll make it…so, why do you live in a place like this?"

"Well," Sakura replied, "I didn't make a lot of money at my last job, and living here is really expensive, but I couldn't leave the city. There's a lot of opportunity here."

"Opportunity doesn't mean much when you've been murdered. You were robbed?"

"…Yeah."

Hinata looked at her, and grew a look of sympathy. She put her hand on Sakura's knee, when a buzzing sound came from her pocket. She looked down and pulled out a cell phone, and answered it, holding up a finger to the pink haired girl.

"Hello?"

Sakura looked at her, but decided to leave the room and give Hinata some phone time. It didn't last very long, though, so soon afterwards, she was able to return.

"Sakura?"

"Hm?"

"I just got a call from the boutique, and one of our cashiers has just been taken to the hospital. She's having a baby…well…I was thinking that…this interview has gone fairly well. Maybe you would like to take her place?"

"Wh-what? Really? How soon?"

"Starting tomorrow, around ten in the morning? You'll have a full shift."

Sakura blushed, and shook her head up and down almost spastically. "O-of course! I'd love to!"

.

.

Hinata drove off in her luxury car – apparently, she owned the boutique – and Sakura watched out the window. She quickly decided that it was time to get her act together, and to take a bath.

She laid down in the water, allowing it to be hot enough for steam. She sighed, and looked up.

"Where are you, Sasuke?"

.

.

It was dark, but that didn't make a difference. He followed the man, trench coat and hat keeping him camouflaged with the black of night.

Tonight would be a night for revenge.

.

.

* * *

><p><strong>End of Chapter Notes. <strong>It's been a long time since I've written this story, but now that I'm on an inspiration streak, I plan on finishing it quickly. Stay tuned.


	10. Chapter 10: Life Malfunction

**An. **The second to last chapter and all I can think is "damn".

I've done a lot of maturing, though, so it was hard to continue writing. Otherwise, maybe I'd keep it going.

* * *

><p>.<p>

.**  
><strong>"Uggghhhhh…"

Sakura dragged herself out of bed, rubbing her eyes and looking at the clock. Eight o' clock in the morning.

She brushed her hair and put it up, and then paused, looking at herself in the mirror. Twenty-three years old, and here she was, wearing her hair like a housewife. She worked at a _boutique _now, which was definitely a step up from waitressing. Letting out a sigh, she took her hair out of the ponytail and laid the band on the sink. Her hair fell to the top of her shoulders.

"Hey…" she said to herself. "You don't look terrible…"

She began to walk to the boutique, stopping for a cheap breakfast on the way. She smiled as she entered her new workplace. Two women she did not recognize greeted her, then widened their eyes.

"You must be Sakura," one said. "Pink hair's pretty damn rare in this town. It's nice to meet you. I'm Tenten. You call me Ten, because, I'm the only ten you see."

The brunet woman who had just spoken let out a laugh, causing Sakura to fake smile. What a terrible joke.

"Hello," said the other girl. "I'm…Hinabi…"

"Damn, short and pink, you need some makeup," Ten said. "I mean, not to be rude, but if you're going to work in a boutique, you've got to show off your beauty. And you've got it, but you don't pop. Here, come sit down."

How nice.

Ten worked on her makeup for a good hour, ignoring a couple of customers, and when she was finally finished, she seemed so pleased with herself that she was almost ready to die.

"Have a look," she said, holding the mirror up to Sakura. When she saw herself, she gasped. Her eyes were so shadowy, mysterious, green…they had never popped out so much in her entire life. She was happy.

"You'll have to train me," Sakura said, grinning at her reflection. "I'm not so good at this stuff."

"Of course. You're my new work buddy, after all!"

The bell rang. Tenten saw that this customer looked rich, and quickly rushed Sakura off, handing her a uniform to put on in the restroom.

"Hello and welcome to Hyuga!" she cheered as Sakura made her way off.

She struggled at first. The uniform consisted of a white tee shirt that showed off whatever bosom you had, while the pants were a single neon color – Sakura's were pink, while Ten had green, and Hinabi had yellow. They had matching suspenders so that the pants rode high and were honestly very flattering.

_Thank God I shaved, _Sakura thought. It would be a pain to maintain this.

A knock came on the door.

"Hey, Sakura?" asked the shy girl, Hinabi. "There's a…there's a few people walking around the store now. Do you need some help?"

"N-no, it's fine," she replied opening the door. She even had a pair of white Go Go boots. It was like something from an old music video.

Stepping outside, she made her way to the register. After a few people checked out, she began to get distracted, and fade away into a daydream…

.

.

"Bye, everyone. I'll see you tomorrow," Sakura said with a grin, leaving her new workplace. Ten and Hinabi waved as well, and began to close shop.

She looked at the boutique and took a moment to be as thankful as possible, when she suddenly bumped into a man.

"Oh, I'm sorry sir-"

The sun set behind him, causing an orange glow to surround him, and his entire body to turn into nothing more than a silhouette. She stepped back and squinted, and then widened her eyes.

"Sakura, I, uh…"

"Sasuke?"

The two stared at each other with meaningful looks, and then, she slapped him.

"Fuck you, Sasuke!"

"Ow."

"Do you have any idea what sort of hellish nightmares I have been dealing with lately? Did you hear, Sasuke? I got robbed! You never showed up and I almost went completely broke! Tonight is my last night for the contest, and I have to mail it as soon as I get home!"

She quickly walked past him, but he grabbed her arm, causing her to struggle.

"Sakura, I'm sorry," he said, no tone in particular added to his voice.

She paused, and then shrugged away. "It doesn't matter…"

"How can I make it up?"

Sakura groaned, then turned back around. "If you really want to make me feel better, I'd suggest you come home with me. Then, you can help me pick out which of my already existing shirts is the best, and I will mail it. I'm done coming up with things. I think it's time I just accept where I am in life. I need to acknowledge that I'm never going anywhere."

He looked her in the eyes, and nodded. Any previous feelings of caring and love were completely gone, from what she could tell. His eyes didn't light up, his cheeks didn't blush, and he didn't nervously brush his fingers through his hair.

Wait; did he ever actually brush his fingers through his hair? Or was that her imagination?

Never mind.

And so, he followed her home, and sat down on the floor to flip through the entire notepad. He created a top three list, and wrote down the following: _"The wearer of this shirt is a sophisticated businessman, does this shirt smell like chloroform, nine inches."_

Sakura looked at the top three, and smiled. "I thought you said you didn't like the 'Nine inches' shirt?"

"The world is full of arrogant pricks that would love such a shirt."

She smiled, and then looked back down at the list. The chloroform one would have to do…

So, she began to create the shirt. Sasuke looked at her, and stood.

"So…I'm leaving town, Sakura…"

She stopped, and looked up at him. "What?"

"Konoha is just too small. I want to get out there, and explore the world. Plus, after the whole kissing incident, maintaining our friendship might be a little hard."

Sakura looked down at her lap and clenched her fists. Leaving Konoha?

_No._

"Sasuke…"

"What?"

_Sasuke is your best friend. Don't let him go._

"Is that really what you want?"

"Yes."

_Sakura, say something._

"Okay."

_THAT WAS THE WRONG SOMETHING._

Sasuke looked at her, and sighed.

"Alright, then. I suppose I can leave now. It was nice…being friends with you. I got you something, too. I'll leave it on the counter."

He put down a plastic bag and left, leaving Sakura to her own doings.

.

.

Upon returning from the post office, Sakura lay on the carpet and sighed. Her emotions had been gone for the entire day, it seemed. Sasuke was gone forever and her last word was "okay". But this was _not _okay.

She rolled around for a moment, savoring the feeling of the carpet rubbing against her, and then stopped. He had left her something.

She opened a box in the plastic bag, revealing a large and beautiful necklace. Her mother's.

"Where did you…?" she questioned, and then stopped as several sheets of paper fell out of the box as well. She grabbed the one with the large number "1" on it, and opened it up, setting the necklace back in the box.

_Black,_

_Black is all I see._

_Or all I saw._

_Here you are, _

_Doing everything golden._

_You are kind to all, and innocent,_

_And the world is black._

She blinked, staring at the notebook paper, and slowly folding it back up. She picked up number two.

_You need to move houses._

_Below is a check for two hundred thousand dollars._

_Move into a small house in a nice neighborhood._

_I will be watching my account, so you had better actually use this._

_Otherwise, I'll be pissed._

_Use it._

_Seriously._

A check fell out from the notebook paper, and she picked it up. Her eyes began to fill with tears, which stung against her makeup covered face.

_Letter Three,_

_If you're reading this, I've left you._

_I didn't want to._

_But it hurt to think about you._

_You're probably wondering about your mother's necklace?_

_I killed the man that stole it…_

_Just kidding. I only knocked him out and reported him to the police. Turns out, he had a few people who had wanted him jailed for murders and rapes… so, you're lucky._

_I was on my way to visit you when I saw you running towards the office in the apartments. He followed you. So, I memorized his face, and tried my all to keep a tab on him. I found him near a pawnshop yesterday._

_I'm not sorry I kissed you. The beach trip didn't help me after I realized I had feelings for you. I'm not even sure when they developed. Perhaps it was as this whole plot with the shirts started. Seeing you so focused and hard working was admirable, especially since the world we live in is full of pirates and gangsters who will do anything to make a living._

_Sakura, I can't say I love you._

_But I really, really like you._

_Which is why I have to go._

_Because you don't feel the same, and because I could never bare that._

_I'll be in New York tomorrow morning._

_Sayonara. - Sasuke Uchiha_

Sakura looked down at the letter, and wiped her eyes. "Sasuke…"

She quickly stood up, and ran for the door, and made her way outside.

"Sasuke?! Sasuke?!"

She ran to the office, and fell to her knees. Her breathing was labored.

_"Sasuke!"_

.

.

* * *

><p><strong>End of chapter notes. <strong>So, I really, REALLY suck at poetry.

Here's to the readers! Help me create an ending! The more help I get, the faster the new chapter will come! Let's go!

If I don't get any help, the ending will probably be extremely depressing and make you all hate me.

That's right - I'm blackmailing you.


	11. Chapter 11: The Final Malfunction

**An.** It has been a pleasure writing this story.  
>Hopefully, you will enjoy my finale I have put together and, perhaps, you might be interested in some of my other things?<br>[I hear the Save A Life Club is pretty good!]  
>What, who said that?<br>Not me.  
>See you in the End of Chapter Notes!<p>

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

"_Start spreading the news. I'm leaving today-"_

Sasuke walked throughout his house, packing up bags and bags of clothes. His brother followed him throughout the house, acting as if he did not give a damn, although really, he was sad to see him go.

"_I want to be a part of it, New York, New York…"_

Itachi turned the radio off, drawing his brother's attention.

"You're sure you want to leave this place to me?"

Sasuke looked around, then back at his brother. "Yeah. I'd leave it to my friend, but I think she needs to start new."

He stared at his younger brother, then sat on the couch.

"You're leaving the sofa, too?"

"Yeah."

"Damn. And here I was, thinking you loved this thing."

"I loved a lot of things. That's why I'm leaving in the first place."

He looked down.

"You taking your iPod?"

"Hell yeah. I don't love you that much. My iPod and my fashion are all I will need…and my money."

Itachi sighed, and ruffled his brother's hair. "So you're almost done?"

"Yeah."

.

.

It was six in the morning, and here she was, sprinting down the street. Sasuke's house was four miles away. But she could not stop for anything, because then, she would have nothing.

"Sasuke," she would mutter as she ran, as a sort of cheer.

Memories of the two of them flashed through her mind. They seemed so short now, although when they happened, it seemed like the longest days.

The duo at the beach, on a cold day, laughing – well, that was mostly Sakura – and being happy in general. _Why didn't he look at me? _

She was running in the real world and living in a fantasy.

A restaurant.

_"So...you're a fruity cocktail kind of guy?"_

_"Shut it."_

_"Well, I guess it's better than beer or whisky...although it is girly..."_

_Sasuke looked at her for a moment, and then looked away. Sakura stared at him, noticing a small amount of blush crossing his cheeks. Embarrassed? _

_Why won't you look at me?_

_Talk to me, Sasuke…say something else, and look at me._

_It can't go away._

"_Am I really hearing this?"_

_Your eyes._

Sakura stopped, realizing that his car was not in his driveway. She was almost ready to pass out – who wouldn't be? – and she continued towards his house.

**Ding. Dong.**

"Yoo-oh. You're not Kisame."

"Where's…Sasuke…?"

Itachi recognized her from Sasuke's stories, and immediately grinned.

"Dead."

"No, don't start that shit – where is he?"

"Gone."

"What?"

"OOOH, I'VE BEEN TRAVELIN ON THIS ROAD TOO LONG-"

"Are you fucking drunk?"

"Maybe a little. Why aren't you?"

"Damn, Itachi, where is Sasuke?!"

He was surprised that she knew his name, and sighed. "He's already departed for the airport, darling."

"Oh," she whined. "Oh…"

Itachi stared at her, then sighed, and pulled out his wallet.

"Sakura, I have heard enough about you to tell that Sasuke would never, ever give up. Take this money, and get a taxi. His flight leaves at ten. It's eight, so get cracking."

Sakura paused, and then began to tear up. "May I please use your phone?"

Itachi stared at her, remembered her being broke, and sighed. "Poor girl."

And thus, she was given an iPhone, and five more pity dollars.

.

.

Sasuke looked out the window, at the small world. It passed by so quickly, and yet, it didn't seem to go quick enough.

Everything was monochrome.

"Fuck," he said, groaning and sliding into the seat. He wondered what would happen to his car if he left it at the airport, rather than paying someone to bring it to the big city.

And more, he wondered how Sakura was, with that colorful face and brightness that only seemed to emit from her - _damn it, Sasuke, get over it._

He agreed with his thoughts. New York. Where women are easy and money is fun.

He was one-sixteenth Italian. Surely he would survive.

He looked back out the window, nearly getting into at least four wrecks and not even caring.

.

.

"So, you live around here?"

"Yes. Please stop talking."

"You go to the airport often?"

"No. Please stop talking."

The Taxi driver was driving her absolutely fucking insane. Do it for Sasuke, she thought.

_What would Sasuke do?_

God, that would be a funny shirt. If only the world knew whom Sasuke was.

She saw that the GPS said the airport was thirty miles away, and began to pray that Sasuke would still be there.

Flight B-103…

.

.

Sasuke sat down in the incredibly uncomfortable chairs, waiting for his flight. He had thirty minutes. With Starbucks in one hand, and his iPod in his right, he prepared for the horrendously long journey across the States.

And now, a baby was crying.

He plugged in the headset, and put it over his head. And then, an absolutely terrible song decided to play.

"_I said I wasn't gonna lose my head, and then POP! Goes my heart! Pop goes my heart!"_

"Ugh," Sasuke groaned, skipping the song.

"_Beth I hear you callin'…but I can't come home right now-"_

"No."

"_Ain't no other man can it's true, ain't no other man but you-"_

"Hell to the no."

"_If I wrote you a symphony, just to say how much you mean to me, what would you do?  
>If I told you you were beautiful, would you date me on the regular? Tell me, would you-"<em>

"DAMN YOU, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE," Sasuke yelled. A woman nearby covered her child's ears. He realized that Itachi must have taken his iPod and changed out all of the songs, because they were all pop, jazz, or songs that were slow – and each was about love.

What a long trip this was going to be.

Even his iTunes library was emptied of everything but his new songs, and he only had thirty minutes to re-sync them.

_Black Veil Brides, _he searched, and downloaded every album.

.

.

"_Hello."_

_The two sat on the playground, well into their fifth year of elementary school, and neither of them had said a word, even though they were right beside one another._

_He looked at her, surprised that she had said anything._

"_Hello, Sakura."_

_Her eyes widened._

"_Oh, you know my name?"_

_He nodded, and continued to stare at her. She hummed, and held her arms around her knees. Once she caught him, she jumped._

"_Why are you staring at me?"_

"_I don't know. Why not? I mean, should I not look at you?"_

"_Well, you're just sort of staring…"_

_They shared stares, and then she began to laugh. _

"_You're weird, boy."_

"_You have pink hair."_

"_It's natural."_

_"My butt."_

_"Butts are natural, too."_

_._

_._

He fumbled around on his iPod.

"Now boarding first class, flight B-103. First class, please have your tickets ready."

He wondered why he didn't book a first class ticket, but he didn't mind because the woman with the baby had picked that and he didn't want to be near it. It had been staring him down for the past ten minutes, with drool coming slightly out of its mouth.

Fucking disgusting baby.

The line moved slowly, and it seemed to be moving slower.

Time seemed to be moving slower.

It was.

_The world became black._

_Here he was, blending in, with nothing to say for himself. Nothing described him. He wasn't funny. He didn't talk. He had words to say, and yet he couldn't say them. Things that had to be said but there was no one to say them to because the world was black, and he was gray. _

_Alone._

_A pink bird, flying through the nothing. He catches it, and it looks him in the eyes, and he suddenly knows everything. The bird flies away, and with it, his knowledge, his color, his world, his life. Everything. He could have caught the bird, but there would be a life in a cage to pay. Her world would turn black, like his, and therefore, it was all only temporary from the beginning._

_So many words. So many people, and yet, no people. No one was here. No one was real, and he was alone in a place that was supposed to be full, but was empty._

_Three things were real and permanent: Black, Wonder, and Death._

_Black was the world, wonder was the thoughts, and death was the end._

_The end._

_The beginning._

"_Sasuke!"_

_He looked up. A pink bird._

_And color returned._

"Now boarding, flight B-103, Class C passengers please board. Will take off in about five minutes."

Where the fuck had he gone?

"Sasuke!"

He looked up and arose simultaneously. Sakura?

"Saku-"

"Sasuke, I don't have a lot of time, and I have a lot to say, so please. Just listen."

He blinked. Was this still a dream?

"Sasuke?"

"…I'm listening."

Sakura panted, and stood up straight.

"Sasuke Uchiha, I've gone through a lot today, you can't even- you know what, it's not even important. I came here to say…I'm sorry."

"…What?"

"I've been selfish. Here I was, in my own little world, with a dream too big for me to capture alone. I thought that I needed you to accomplish my goal, and never even took into consideration how you might view me. Sasuke, I used you. And you know it. You were a tool for me to win this big game of life, and when I got there, I'd be so big and high and mighty that I wouldn't even need you any more.

"I realize now, that, I was wrong."

Her voice grew louder and the people around them listened.

"I was so _fucking _wrong. Sasuke, I'm an idiot. A total idiot! I thought that you might help me advance. I wanted to achieve my goal. I really, and truly did. And if the opportunity arose again, I might take it. Truth is, there is no way that I would ever win that contest. I can't think on the spot. I have to flow. My life is in curves, and the world is straightforward. I can't move around anymore because these lines are suffocating me.

"I'm not going to make any more excuses, Sasuke. I give up on those stupid, annoying dreams. I don't need to become a designer. I don't _need_ anything material. I need you, Sasuke. I need _you."_

_._

_._

"Flight B-103 will be leaving soon."

"Sir, are you in seat G-12?"

"Sir?"

"Sasuke?"

"Dude."

"Sir!"

"SASUKE?"

He blinked, and looked around. Sakura, with eyes filled with tears and mascara. Several strange people in uniforms. And here he was, with a stupid look on his face, holding up a flight.

"We can't hold the plane for much longer, sir. People are getting angry."

Sasuke looked at the speaker and nodded, then turned his attentions back to Sakura.

"Sakura..."

"Yes?"

"...hey."

He turned his attention back to the attendants. "Just...tell them to go."

"But sir-"

"I won't ask for a refund or anything. Just go."

The women and men nodded, and left to conduct their business.

Sasuke and Sakura stood staring at each other, awkwardly and romantically, in that airport.

Sakura reached her hand out. "Are you staying?"

Sasuke looked at her long and hard, and then extended his hand as well. "If you wish."

"Sasuke...I'm really, really sorry."

"Don't..."

"I am."

"..."

She looked him in the eyes, and wiped her own, wary of the makeup that was coming down her cheeks. After a short laugh shared by both of them, she ran into him and pressed her lips against his.

Where there was cold, there was warmth.

Black became a rainbow.

The two of them stood, wrapped around each other in a manner that was almost delicate and statue-like. She stood, on her toes, and he was flat, and they matched heights for a kiss that was long desired by both.

.

.

"Hey, Sasuke?"

"Yeah?"

Sakura tied her hair and shirt up, as it had quickly become too hot to stand.

"Where do you want me to move this sofa?"

He looked at it, and turned around, staring at the blank living room.

"It can go anywhere, Sakura. Although, it might be nice to have it sitting near the window. That way, we can have a nice view every time we sit."

She blinked. "Huh. You're right."

So, the two lifted the sofa and put it near the window, nearly breaking a sweat. She laughed.

"Only seven more rooms to go after this one, and we'll be done with the downstairs room."

"Joy. I don't think I like being rich anymore."

"I like it."

"Of course you do. You're like Eminem, coming from the hood to the neighborhood."

"Couldn't have done it without you, my dear."

The two sighed and plopped down on the couch. Sakura untied her "What Would Sasuke Do?" shirt, and Sasuke untied her hair. She leaned on him.

"Sasuke, when do you think you'll write another song?"

Sasuke looked at her and grinned. "The next time you inspire me."

She laughed, and looked out the window to see the blue oceans and skies.

"California," she said. He nodded.

"California."

.

.

* * *

><p><strong>End-of-Chapter Notes.<strong>  
>So. This is the end.<br>I chose a happy ending.  
>Be happy.<br>Oh, and reviews would make me very, very happy. Because I've never ended a fanfiction before. EVER.  
>Except for oneshots.<p>

So. Please let me know if you liked it or not. ^^  
>I love you guys.<br>See you next time.


End file.
